Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Your Example Is A Model For Me My Friend

You've put me in the mind again to learn to accept things as they are at this moment. As you've said, it causes us so much stress to rail against what is rather than to live in the best possible way even with it all. I notice that when I'm calm and accepting of each moment of time, I'm able to observe much better what's going on. I can even listen to my body and relate its condtion to how various treatments are working better or not. Today it seems like I am backing out and away from many doors and closing them behind myself. The many daily ebbs and flows in this struggle make is so hard to see whether we are improving or declining. It's so uncertain and as I watch myself calmly, my minds eye reveals the inner core of our being. Sometimes, there's a lot of fear. For me especially, I don't know how this will end, and I'm afraid. Sometimes, I see that never ending caring and deep concern which you have shown. There's also your humor in the wonderful graphics of children playing and happy animals which you use. Generally these illnesses, as I see them through your writing, make me think that each of us is drawn together through a deep and caring love which has no bounds in time or space. God's eternal face is revealing itself in the constant care and love we show each other.

You know, I struggle with the weakness and pain from my illness. Depression finds us to be easy prey sometimes, doesn't it? Still, just at the right time for me, I watched a wonderful program this weekend about a neurologist living with ALS. I realize that although he has lost all motion, a wonderful new brain wave detection system has enabled him to keep communicating. He is able to read and write journal articles and continue his research with slight eye muscle movements and measures of his brain waves. He lives with a respirator like Stephen Hawking the famous physicist, but he retains that core of hope, love, caring, and the ability to communicate, publish, and do research. When I think of you, I'm amazed at your mental strength and stamina. I think Yes, you are retaining that essential core of being described as Love.

Stay strong and keep reaching out, writing, sending your wonderful message out, and being an excellent example and teacher for so many of us. I think of you and pray for you many times per day. God Bless You, your Husband, and Family. Keep up with those docs and make sure they help you all they can. We have to be hard taskmasters don't we? Ha.... In this time of disillusion many doctors need your example. Many are easily discouraged and need to meet more folks like you with your humor, caring nature, and ability to reach out. You continue to be the best mentor I've ever met. Your Friend Frank from the cold Northland.

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